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It was late and the guys had to work the next day, so they took me home. Before I got out, Ben said he needed money for the beer for tomorrow. They all chipped in. Again, I had nothing. The next night they picked me up again. This time we were headed for a party at the lake. This was one of my favorite things, hanging with all the college guys and feeling grown-up. We had a couple of hours to kill, so we drove around. This time after I got a few beers in, Josh moved over and sat close to me, so close our thighs were touching. I looked at him with a puzzled look on my face. Josh asked if I had any money for gas or beer. I shook my head. He said that after they dropped me off, they had talked. They did not mind me hanging out with them but if I could not share the cost of hanging out, I would have to produce something else of value. Then Josh kissed me."Think it over."Then he moved away. My mind raced. I knew that they all wanted something physical from me. My. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit.)11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day.
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